Weigh & Measure Day June 25, 2008

Despite being incredibly busy, I’ve only missed one day at the gym this month and that morning I was just plain exhausted.  We’ve been eating horrible food, lots of fast food, etc. because there isn’t time to cook real food.  Despite the horrible food, I didn’t gain any weight, didn’t lose any either, but I did lose inches so its all good…

	HW 9/1/05	12/28/2007	5/23/2008	6/25/2008	Mo. Diff	Total Difference
Shoulders	55	48	46.25	46	0.25	-9
Chest	52	49.25	46	45.5	0.5	-6.5
Waist	51	43	39	38.5	0.5	-12.5
Hips	54	48	44	44	0	-10
Arm	14.25	13.25	12.75	12.25	0.5	-2
Thigh	24.25	24.5	23.25	23	0.25	-1.25
Calf	16.5	14.5	14.25	14.25	0	-2.25
Weight	231	206	183	183	0	-48

The Chaos that is Moving June 11, 2008

Moving and remodeling is taking up all of my time these days on top of work, serving Master, etc…. It’s overwhelming, exciting, and fantastic all at once.  With all of the packing and boxes, etc., things are bound to be misplaced.

Recently, Master couldn’t find His lighter.  It was no ordinary lighter, it was a Zippo that I gave Him the day He landed in Pittsburgh and we met for the first time.  I had it engraved with the words “Jeff’s Property”.  He used to smoke then and the lighter seemed so appropriate.  He hasn’t smoked for the last 6 years but still uses the lighter on occasion.  He thought He’d lost it over the weekend, I told Him at one point it’s ok to lose the lighter but not the slave while reassuring Him it’d turn up as we unpacked, etc.  He found it yesterday in His glove box and called me at work to let me know. 

In our relationship, Master and I do love each other, but there’s no doubt that I am very much His property.  I know my place (most of the time).  It is nice to know, however; that things like the lighter mean a lot to Him and in turn touch me too. 

Blog posts and reading will be very light until we get settled.

Personal Assistant June 4, 2008

It looks like we are going to close tomorrow afternoon on the house!  The sellers were able to make arrangements with all the lien holders, to sell the house free and clear.  We are excited and nervous all at the same time.

For the last 6 1/2 years, Master and I have been trailer trash.  We’ve been living in a trailer that we own on a rented lot.  While I had a billion reservations when we first moved in, the living expenses were cheap and allowed us to save enough money for the down payment and still have a reserve in savings for emergencies.  It ended up being a wonderful place to call home, Master was right (no surprise there).  We put a for sale ad in the paper two weeks ago, and last night we had two offers on the place.  I completely understand why people use Realtors, after this experience.  It’s so hard not to get wrapped up in people’s stories.  It has to be easier not to get to know potential buyers, even briefly, so that you don’t want to make things easier for them some how.  Apparently both Master and I have larger softer sides than even we realized.

Master asked me to call the lower of the two potential buyers this morning and give her the bad news.  He new that is was a horrible task, but what good is a slave if you can’t make her do things you don’t want too?  I called this morning, and blessedly, got her voice mail.  I left a message and figure that’s the end of that.

I also spent a bit of time setting up the new utility accounts, ordering new windows, and setting up the few workmen we’ve hired to help us do some repair work.  It’s so exciting and overwhelming, but just having the forward motion is a comfort.  We plan on staying in our trailer through the end of the month to do the repair, cleaning, and painting before moving in.

Being Master’s personal assistant is a huge part of my slave “job description” sometimes its quite pleasant and sometimes not so much.  The interesting thing is, that in doing alot of these tasks I feel closer to them, more like they are somehow just as much mine.  The house is in both our names, but there is no doubt in my mind to whom it belongs.  Its good that I take pride and ownership of my tasks and doing them well for Master, however; its a good reminder to keep myself humble and remember who does have the final say around here.

Three Day Weekend Kickoff May 24, 2008

Yesterday afternoon we got the title insurance report on the house we’re trying to buy.  Turns out the sellers have more liens on the property than anyone was expecting, except for maybe them and they just failed to tell their realtor or ours.  The liens amount to more than the selling price, if they can’t figure out a way to pay off the debts or make arrangements with their creditors we will have to walk away from the house, because we aren’t taking on their debt.  Oddly, we’re at a place of peace about it.  Master said not to worry, we’ll find something else if this fails.  In the meantime we’re thinking positively and not letting this turn ruin a three day weekend.

A three day weekend that we kicked off by going to a bar last night.  This is maybe the third time in 8 years that we’ve gone out to have a few beers.  A few beers that quickly had me buzzed, its amazing how low my tolerance is!  The beer did make me sleep really well after a quick romp with Master, however.  This morning we started out with some spanking and blow jobs before taking aspirin and inhaling coffee followed by hitting the farmers market and a few yard sales. I found a great cookbook for 50 cents at the one sale, and am looking forward to spending this rainy afternoon looking through it.

Weigh & Measure Day May 23, 2008

It’s hard to share this, I’m intensely private about my weight and weight loss goals; but at the same time I want to be accountable and I want to share successes as well as failures.  I assume I’m not the only overweight slavegirl in the world and maybe my own path will encourage someone else, and in putting this out there other folks can encourage me.  Master continues to be my biggest supporter, constantly telling me how well I’m doing and looking, and that helps a ton, because in the end I do want to be that sexy slave on His arm.

Once a month the gym I use weighs & measures me – a progress report if you will.  After weigh & measure day I get a new work out routine to do 3 times a week designed by the owner/trainer.  I work out a total of 5 times a week at 5 am, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I do an hour workout that includes 25-30 minutes of Cardio with the weight training routine designed by the trainer.  Tuesdays and Thursdays I do 30 minutes of cardio.

Below is a chart of my progress from my heaviest weight ever in September of 2005 to where I started at the end of December, to today.

	HW 9/1/05	12/28/2007	4/25/2008	5/23/2008	Mo. Diff	Total Difference
Shoulders	55	48	47	46.25	-0.75	-8.75
Chest	52	49.25	46.5	46	-0.5	-6
Waist	51	43	39	39	0	-12
Hips	54	48	44.5	44	-0.5	-10
Arm	14.25	13.25	12.75	12.75	0	-1.5
Thigh	24.25	24.5	23.25	23.25	0	-1
Calf	16.5	14.5	14.25	14.25	0	-2.25
Weight	231	206	186	183	-3	-48

Surprise, Suprise May 21, 2008

We had some house drama this afternoon.  I was terrified that we might have to walk away.  Thankfully, Master has decided its no big deal, we’ll make it work.  It’s a little different way we have to go about the needed repairs for the mortgage but no big deal at all.  I was so nervous about it, all options frankly sucked.  Master however, surprised me with His calmness and attitude.  I was preparing myself to submit to whatever He decided, and of course, preparing for the worst.  How is it after 8 years, He can still surprise me so?  I’m a very lucky slavegirl.

A very public thanks to my dear friend Robin, you really helped talked me down from a rather overdramatic state of mind.

 

Anxious May 10, 2008

We’ve been approved by the seller’s bank.  Now, the entire inspection process begins, hopefully that holds no suprises and we can close by June 10th.  Its an interesting time, the amount of times I’ve had to bite my tongue has been amazing.

I’m anxious and excited, I focus on all the great things that could happen (huge garden, better pantry space, extra shop space for Master (possibly dungeon space).  Master thinks about all the things that could go wrong, He’s worried about different things and while I understand they are valid concerns, I worry less and maybe thats just because I want it so much.

I’m trying to remain focused on just what’s in front of me and not to get too far ahead.  In that light, today I’m baking sourdough bread, canning some homemade chicken stock, starting some beef stock from bones that I’ve been saving in the freezer, and possibly finishing some sewing projects.  Master has other things He wants to do and this will keep me out of HIs hair and yet serving His home.

 

Caffeine Drip, Please May 7, 2008

We still don’t have approval from the seller’s bank.  I hate the waiting.  I Hate the Waiting!  In the meantime, we’re moving ahead as if its ours, working on getting bids for improvement work, etc. 

The amount of work, phone calls, paperwork, etc. is overwhelming and the majority of it falls on me.  Master doesn’t have a job that allows for phone calls, call backs, etc., I do and as Master’s slave and assistant that’s my job.  It’s a lot to juggle I don’t mind saying.  There’s just so much to do and sometimes when I hit a brick wall, I don’t know where to go next or need to wait for Master’s call/direction losing time and momentum.  Oy, why are all the deadlines so tight on real estate deals, except for the foreclosing bank’s approval? They have the gold so they make the rules, I suppose.  In the end, I have great faith that everything will or won’t happen as its supposed too, but at the same time my patience is wearing thin with the seller’s bank.

All this juggling of extra duties into an already full daily schedule, got me thinking about laziness and slavery.  I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no room for laziness in slavery or at least in the type of service slavery my Master requires.  My job is to do what Master requires without worrying about being tired or stressed or overwhelmed.  I am to keep Master informed at all times and He’ll remove things if He sees its getting to be too much, but in the meantime its not for me to complain or whine or even yawn.  I just need to suck it up and somehow hook myself up to a caffeine drip until the time for rest arrives.

I don’t mind hard work and by nature I’m not lazy, but the lifestyle isn’t the fantasy of being caged with nothing to do but wait to be used for Master’s pleasure and locked away again.  Slavery is work and Master as boss is way more demanding than the boss who signs my paycheck.  It comes down to focus, as most everything does for me.  I have to keep focused on my duties as Master’s property and our goals whether its M/s goals or property ownership goals. 

Later… May 4, 2008

What a difference a few hours can make!  We’re both extremely excited and just planning, planning, planning for that new home…

Stress May 4, 2008

It’s been a stressful week.  Master and I made an offer on a house, the same day 2 other couples made an offer on the house.  We accepted the seller’s counter offer and found out yesterday that we have one more hoop to go through before we can move forward to the inspection and eventual closing processes.  We have to be approved by the seller’s bank and that should happen on Monday.  We already have pre-approvals from two different mortgage companies so we know we can move forward, that and the house is way less than what we were approved for, financing wise.

The house needs work, work we felt was doable.  It’s almost a one acre lot, perfect for a large garden.  There’s a two car garage with a large shop for Master.  It seems perfect, barring any surprises during the inspection.

Now, the stress of it all is setting in, however.  Master is stressed, overwhelmed perhaps with all that needs doing, His stress of course only feeds my stress level.  As Master’s slave, I want to make it better.  I want to make His life easier, stress-free, and of course extremely pleasurable.  Now, I know that life isn’t all chocolate and roses, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing it was so.   Obviously, I can’t remove all of Master’s worries, but I lay awake at night thinking of ways to make Him happy, to remove these stresses. 

I’m sure this is a reflection of my own insecurities but, I feel like I’ve failed in someway when Master is stressed.  Master doesn’t say that or even hint at it, its something made up in my own mind, but it is powerful.  I have always struggled with feeling like I’m not doing enough, that somehow I should do more, be better and its in these instances that the feelings really rise to the surface no matter how well I’ve kept it controlled in the mean time. 

I am confident, that once we know from the bank tomorrow and we can just start moving a lot of this will pass.  It’s the waiting that makes everything go wonky inside our heads, once we start getting busy there’s no time to worry, or at least I hope so.